College

Boy have things changed in my life this summer! I haven't posted in awhile which is a shame because some days I have had really good ideas of a subject to post about but then I find myself busy with something else or just to tired at the end of the day to put in the effort. So for the next few posts I will be making up for the lost opportunities and thoughts that I had earlier in the month. I think this is my first post for August... and it is August 23rd... woops.

   my first day of college!

So I am now in college, but I am not just in college. I have my own house, I have my own car, I have my own bike, I pay my own bills and I now live all by myself. It is a big change and unlike most college freshman I took the less followed and slightly more "scary" route to travel. But I knew I didn't want to live in the dorms, and unfortunately I didn't end up with any roommates, but I am still hoping I will get a roommate during my freshman year because I want company and someone other then myself to talk to when I am at home. It was a big adjustment from living with my parents to living with no one but myself, and I'm proud to say that I didn't even cry about it! I've had sad feelings of course, but it isn't a sad thing to me, I am happy and proud of myself! I have accomplished more then I ever thought I would just a short 2 years ago and I know I am going great places and that God has a plan for me in this life.
Getting into the number one public art school in the U.S. was something I never foresaw happening. I've always liked art quite a bit, and I like to draw and doodle and create things but it wasn't until I met my teacher Adam R. Shilling that I absolutely fell in love with art and started exploring myself and my passions, each piece that I created in his class was a piece that made me happy and smile and say to myself "did I really make that?". Of course I am not the most impressive art student, and I know there will always be people who have been doing this since they were 3 years old and are THE BEST at everything artsy, but to me I don't care if I make the prettiest and most extravagant art in my classes. All I want to do is try my best and put as much effort as I can into everything that I do, I want to create art with love and passion, not with ego and pride. I don't see myself as a famous artist, and I don't really see myself as an artist anyway. I've always wanted to work with people, to help other human beings in what ever way I can that makes me feel like I am making a change for the better in someone's life. I hope that I can use my art skills and earn a degree where I can do something that I am passionate about and will help others around me.
This year is going to be a challenge. I have 16 credits and 20 hours of drawing and 20 hours of my other art studios to work on out of the class room. Not to mention that my art history class is going to be killer plus I am taking a core class to try and graduate in a good amount of time, and since I am currently planning on serving a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, taking as many classes as I can before I leave will be a good thing in the long run. As long as I can keep up with them.
So wish me luck!

If I could go back in time and tell the little 14/15 year old girl that was getting mixed up in the wrong things and the wrong people that I had a big future and that I was going to be going to one of the top art schools in the nation, my 15 year old self would think I was crazy and out of my mind and that I could never do anything like that because I wasn't good enough. Back then I wasn't confident, I didn't know myself and I had horrible self esteem issues. But after discovering what really matters in life, and figuring out who I am and loving myself, I know that I am worth everything and I can accomplish great things. And even when I mess up or fail a test or assignment I know that there is always a brighter future out there as long as I am striving to find it and chase after good things in life. I hope this year is a success, and I hope I can make long lasting life long friends. All is unknown right now. Into the mist we go.

with love, Arianna

the temple

My Talk for Church

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

It has been a long time since I have given a talk in this ward, and there are a lot of new faces I see who I don’t know and a lot of you probably don’t know me yet. My name is Arianna Brown, and I’ve lived in Chapel Hill since 2005 when my family moved from Washington. For the past year and a half I haven’t been living here, which would explain why many of you have no idea who I am, or at least haven’t met me. My talk this morning is about Conversion, with a focus on how youth can be converted.

So what exactly is conversion? From looking up the word Conversion on LDS.org I found this definition “Conversion is a process, not an event. Conversion comes as a result of righteous efforts to follow the Savior. These efforts include exercising faith in Jesus Christ, repenting of sin, being baptized, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end in faith.” “Conversion also includes a change in our behavior, but it goes beyond behavior; it is a change in our very nature. It is such a significant change that the Lord and His prophets refer to it as a rebirth, a change of heart, and a baptism of fire.” So how do we (as youth and as people make this change of heart in our lives?  As a youth being converted isn’t really something we think about, at least I didn’t in my early teenage years. Some people in my opinion are already converted and being a good follower of God comes easy, but for others it takes dedication, and a will power and desire to be converted and to be committed to our Heavenly Father and his will. When I was baptized of course I believed in God and that our church was true, but I never had any adversity to challenge my belief until later in my life, and that is when I truly became converted. I have always had the desire to be a good person, to be happy, and to strive to be better, but as most parents of teenagers and my fellow teenagers know, life for some reason becomes a lot more difficult and challenging. So as I said before I haven’t been living here for the last year and half, I won’t tell the whole story, because the story is like a novel. For the past year and a half I have been living in two different places, the first place I was living was in the wilderness of Utah for three months, in the west desert. The time leading up to me going to wilderness was full of anger, confusion and sadness, back in 2011 I was a lost soul, but the one thing I still knew in my heart was that God was real, that he loved me, and that was all that really mattered to me. In wilderness I had nothing but the clothes on my back, the food in my pack, and the sleeping bag I carried. I hiked more than 100 miles in 3 months, through rain, sleet, snow, the freezing cold nights and the blazing sun. I don’t have the normal high-schooler life story, the three months I spent in the wilderness taught me a lot about God. As children we are taught to pray every day, and to read our scriptures, and it seems pretty easy, but how many of us actually pray 3 times a day and read our scriptures everyday too, especially as teenagers, some of us get lazy, and forget to save time for God, it’s not that we don’t care about God and our faith, it’s just that sometimes we get caught up in everything else that goes on in our lives. But when you have 3 months without a phone, without a computer, without fashion, without makeup, without boys, without parents, without friends and without anything that we are used to, you have a lot of time on your hands. This is the story of my true conversion to God, it reminds me a lot of the story of Enos in the Book of Mormon. I didn’t just pray to my Heavenly Father, I cried to him, I talked to him, I told him everything, I talked to him like he was right next to me. “And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.” Enos 1:4 I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father listened and he was there for me, I felt his love, I feel his love, and I know he knows each and every one of us. But I haven’t always known my Heavenly Father, and for many of us in the church, we still don’t know, and we haven’t been truly converted. This “mighty change in your hearts” is what conversion is all about. President Joseph Fielding Smith said, “People are converted by their hearts being penetrated by the Spirit of the Lord when they humbly hearken to the testimonies of the Lord’s servants” (Church History and Modern Revelation, 2 vols. [1953], 1:40). “Converted means to turn from one belief or course of action to another. Conversion is a spiritual and moral change. Converted implies not merely mental acceptance of Jesus and his teachings but also a motivating faith in him and his gospel. A faith which works a transformation, an actual change in one’s understanding of life’s meaning and in his allegiance to God in interest, in thought, and in conduct. In one who is really wholly converted, desire for things contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ has actually died. And substituted therefore is a love of God, with a fixed and controlling determination to keep his commandments.” President Marion G. Romney. The Savior said: “Will ye not now return unto me, and repent of your sins, and be converted, that I may heal you? … If ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life.” And in order to have God’s word impact our lives—to receive the promised blessings—(of Eternal Life) we must follow the commandments and follow Christ’s teachings. “One who is converted and committed will not simply “go through the motions” in fulfilling a Church service assignment. A converted home teacher will not be satisfied with just making a visit to one of his assigned families so he can report to his quorum leader that his home teaching is “completed” or “done.” A converted Primary teacher would not be content to merely “give” a lesson but would want to teach by the Spirit, thereby making a real difference in the impressionable lives of the children entrusted to his or her care.-General Conference 1996 W. MACK LAWRENCE”

 A Quote BY ELDER DAVID A. BEDNAR “Knowing that the gospel is true is the essence of a testimony. Consistently being true to the gospel is the essence of conversion.” We all make mistakes, we all mess up, and we all sin, that is what we are here to do, to live a life full of blemishes and still turn to God, to repent of our sins, become meek and humble and submit to our Heavenly Father. As long as we strive to follow the commandments and if and when we sin again we repent and cry unto the Lord and seek forgiveness. We can all become truly converted, but remember, conversion is not an event; it is a lifelong process, a rebirth and a change of heart. There are some things that will help with the process, don’t just pray, pray with intent, cry to God and speak to him, act as if Christ were in the same room as you, focus on others instead of yourself, love everyone, even those who have hurt you, and most importantly learn to love yourself, and to Love God and his Son.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen